Sunday 3 March 2013

Outragings and Offenditures

I have to admit that as one who enjoys being a tad self-righteous, there are some aspects of modern life I find perplexing - that is to say, I don't yet have a hard and fast stance for myself on them. I oscillate back and forth between views - a well structured argument can change my mind on it; I find new information; I read something and find myself not sure whether or not I agree. There are a few of these, and I'm sure I'll discuss them in later rants. But there's one in particular I want to talk about now: comedy.

I have a pretty severely disabled sister. Generally speaking, she is like most other sisters on earth: a pain in the ass who is loved very very much and for whom I would do anything. My sister knows who I am, and can call me by name, and fully understands that I can change her DVDs when they end and make her bowls of Rice Krispies on request. She does not know what electrocution is, or how to call for help if needed, nor does she understand the intricacies of household objects that could set her alight or crush her to death. She would be guileless in the grip of a kidnapper, and helpless without her seizure medication. She has no sense of danger, and her grasp of right and wrong is about level with that of a very young toddler or a labrador puppy. She is vulnerable.

Between us, my family has protected her physically, mentally and legally all her life. We have guarded her against anyone who might abuse her or upset her or give her too much chocolate. We have also made legions of jokes at her expense, from the series of photos when she was a baby in which she is placed in numerous household applicances (washing machine, oven, microwave etc) to the tear-inducingly funny impressions we have done of her more 'ticcy' behaviours for each others' amusement. "You're terrible," my mother will gasp through a face that hurts from laughing, and she's right. It is terrible, and to us it's also hilarious, and much needed. You know that old cliché about 'having to laugh' in a trying situation? People who care for disabled children 24/7 can really do with a laugh sometimes.

These jolly japes sprang to mind a while back when my father, who does seem to be getting a bit more right-wing as he gets older, renounced the dry comedy stylings of Frankie Boyle because he made jokes about people with Down's Syndrome. I tried to point out that it was a bit rich that he felt it was fine for various people to joke ceaselessly (and often in ways which are boringly derivative, by the by) about mothers-in-law, immigrants, women and so on, yet disabled kids were off limits because he had one himself. He said it was because disabled kids can't stick up for themselves; I argued that all kinds of other targets of jokes were similarly unable to retort in any meaningful way and added that the kids couldn't care less, and he retorted with something else and so it went on.

I admit I mostly took the opposing council in that instance because I love a good old debate and playing devil's advocate against my father is... well, it's just a ton of fun for me, because I'm warped like that. Because I am still a little conflicted about the idea of respecting there are some topics that are off limits clashing with the idea of anything being fair game. Which is it? Are we duty bound to censor things that may be hurtful, or do we just get over ourselves and admit that everything is ripe for comedy?

I do genuinely find it a conundrum at times. Some days I think of the likes of Sean Lock or Steve Hughes, talking about the nature of 'being offended', and think how stupid it all is, how people are too sensitive, how you do indeed 'have to laugh' at some pretty rotten situations. I think about how hard it is to legislate for what is or isn't funny, and what is or isn't offensive. Who decides? For fairness' sake, I'd imagine it has to be either everyone or no one, and if it was the former, we'd probably have no comedy at all. I think about controversial things I really love - all the works of fellow (much better) ranters like Charlie Brooker or Bill Hicks; South Park and other brainchildren of Trey Parker and Matt Stone; everything Chris Morris ever did, said or thought. Yes, I think to myself. That has to be the answer.

Then I read something like this article here. I remember what I know about implicit acceptance of lazy assumptions, and how humour can be used to hurt and debase people as well as expose and ridicule stupidity. I recall I live in a society where widely circulated mainstream newspapers frequently equate sex with violence towards women in all kinds of fun and interesting ways that make the world just a little more vile for everyone. I remind myself of the importance of empathy, and think about how funny an 'edgy' joke might be to someone who has actually been forcibly pushed over that edge, for example. And so on it goes, round in circles. Which means that I usually have at least partially mixed thoughts about items of offence and outrage brought to my attention by others.

That fact probably makes the subjects of this article all the more special. Because when I saw the piece online today, I didn't have to 'hmm' and 'haw' about decency vs censorship or anything like that. I didn't have to wonder how I felt or whose rights were affected. All I really had to do was think "Wow... exactly what kind of guy would want to go round wearing a t-shirt that said 'KEEP CALM AND RAPE A LOT'? And exactly what kind of person would want to be seen with that guy?"

We could probably tease out a lot of different answers to those questions, but they'd all have one thing in common - none of them would be people with whom I want to share a world.

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